Posts Tagged by Men

Successful Women and the Waning Pool of Male Potential

As I sit among my wonderful friends, I am always amazed at how many of us are single. I used to have a notion of what single women were like. Hideous. Frumpy. Bitchy. Morbidly obese. Divorced and heartbroken. Or with some other major impediment that stopped them from getting a man. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that stunningly beautiful, well-educated, sweet, intelligent, funny, talented and successful women would be sitting around in a shallow dinge of manlessness! Wondering what the #*&@ is going on. Then I was struck with a thought… do all of these amazing and positive attributes actually make the game somehow more difficult for women? Does it actually work out that there are less men available to women who have beauty talent and success? Matter of fact, is there a close correlation between the success of a woman and the difficulty of her relationships?

Well, let’s first consider what ‘success’ means. Although to me, success is simply achieving whatever it is you set out to do, or doing well in an area of pursuit, in our culture, we place particular premiums on certain areas (mostly financial). So let’s heed to Americanism for a moment and consider the measure of ‘success’ how much money and power a woman is able to wield.

It seems like the higher up a woman climbs this ladder of ‘success’ the farther she steps away from the prototype of marriage and family that we are typically trained to yearn for as girls. Is this something she purposely moves away from? Some kind of subconscious rebellion, or actual indifference? Could it be perhaps that women who invest so much of their time and effort in their careers are really just running from the prospect of being vulnerable which true intimacy requires? Or is it that ‘successful’ women are operating on such a high level, they don’t have the patience or attraction for men who are not on their level or above?

Or rather, does the fault lie within men, and the frailty of ego? Are most men intimidated by powerful women? Males who through supposed primal genetic coding are accepted as dominating, territorial and aggressive. Are they taken aback by this new breed of woman? Independent, dominating, challenging, does this make men feel threatened, useless, or like less of a man? Certainly not all men, but, well… the majority? So that the pool of men widdles down to a shallow coating? And what of those men are left after a woman has dedicated most of her 20’s and 30’s to her career. That brief shellacking of men is now taken, minus the gays, equals a disproportionate amount of less than or equal to nothing. The math is dismal.

Or does this barren water hole have nothing to do with the delicate male ego, or the evasive defiance of the newly independent woman, and it’s just… how the wind blows? A mere sign of the times? Is it our culture of capitalism and consumption that is driving us all to make money and be ‘successful’ in terms of our financial prowess and ego status, at the cost of everything else? At the cost of cultivating deep and profound relationships? At the cost of intimate ties and strong family bonds? Is our infinite chase of greater wealth, power, and importance pushing us towards independence instead of interdependence? Is money the root of all evil? Am I asking too many questions???

Whatever the answers, something has changed, whether it’s my perception or actual circumstance. I’ve counted countless women, beautiful and successful, with no serious male prospects on radar. When it comes down to it, the pool of men has shrunk way past kiddie size (or women have outgrown it all), but my final question for future consideration is… could that possibly be a blessing in disguise?