Waiting for Mr. Wrong?!
What a smack in the face that in this day and age, not only do we have to risk being heartbroken by those we considered Mr. Right, but to add insult to injury, we actually have to be sidelined and second tiered by those we don’t even really like and are only giving a chance because hey, ya never know. This insulting circumstance can make a girl want to stop the whole dating process altogether. I mean seriously, if it wasn’t for the free gifts and the retrospective amusement, I’d have stopped long ago.
I was invited on a Friday night date to the movies which I accepted despite the fact that the dude during our last date (on which I contributed to the bill) mentioned that he had not only one son that we had talked about earlier, but another daughter by another baby mama somewhere else. In fact, based on that first date, the only real redeeming quality was that… he was nice. A quality sadly rare enough to try again. Since niceness is something that lies at the foundation of the type of relationship I would like, I figured I should see where it goes.
To make a long story short, after rushing home from work to wash my hair and get ready for our date, he ends up not responding to my text asking what his ETA was, and finally hitting me around 9:00 after having gone to happy hour with some co- workers, talking about he was going to go home to shower and change, and then come (40 min drive)…. And not to worry, he can ‘still make it happen.’ I just didn’t respond.
I write about this because it happened last night, but that is FAR from the worst story, or even a bad story. It’s actually quite typical. But wait a minute… this shit is typical? Can we really start to think about this please???
It’s one thing to have to put up with erratic and disappointing behavior from someone you’re actually interested in. But when the practice dudes start getting too big for their britches, it says a lot about the devolution of the whole dating process and relationships in general. When the standard of behavior for men has become so unthinkably low that any ole guy just thinks he can do whatever he pleases, it’s time… Women as a group really need to put their collective foot down. We have to blast that substandard bar of ‘acceptable’ male behavior out of the dirty deep mire from where it’s entrenched and set it up high for the champions. For the athletes, for the strong and determined, for the heart driven winners. I’m rooting for men to sail over that bar. They will reach heightened levels of expectation. They will be respectful and caring. They will be strong enough to show love! But those expectations must exist.
I know from my experience helping kids that if you expect them to do well… they do well. If you expect them to perform poorly, they perform poorly. It’s as simple as that. If we accept substandard and unworthy treatment, that is what we will continue to get. And as long as there are so many women willing to put up with some bullshit, that’s what guys will do. But here’s one woman who refuses to be saddled with the heinous heap of dung that men mindlessly step into. Wipe your feet, clean your face, get some flowers, then come knocking at my door…