The Real Housewives of Atlanta and the Female Haterade Problem
One of the deepest problems facing women today is HATERISM. Women hate on each other constantly. Is this natural? Instinctual even? (Even Jay-Z touted jealousy as a female trait). Or is this one of the many negative byproducts of an egocentric, fear mongering, dog eat dog competitive society? Are haters perpetrators? Or are they victims?
There can be no doubt that mass media shapes and forms our perceptions of others (and thusly of ourselves). But let’s take a case in point. The Real Housewives series. Namely the Real Housewives of Atlanta (cuz that’s the only one I watch). Why do I watch it? Same reason as anybody else. It satisfies some urge in me to see human drama played out, to watch conflict and turmoil, and judge and listen. To feel superior. To scoff. To connect with or empathize. To ridicule or to cheer on. HOWEVER, in watching and discussing, it struck me that I was harboring serious disdain for more than half of the women. So why was I watching it? I asked my room full of friends who they liked on the show, and each one mentioned no more than one or two names. So are we watching to connect? Or are we watching to hate???
Well honestly, I have been on a new kick lately. A love EVERYONE kick. And I have definitely been focusing on the things I love about each woman. But seriously? Do I get a small thrill when I feel someone has ‘learned their lesson’ or suffered the consequence of their despicable behavior??? Yep. Or more importantly, am I still judging? Do I still ‘hate’ on these women because I don’t find it legitimate that they should ostensibly ‘enjoy’ so much luxury? That they’re undeserving? Or am I mad at them for representing womanhood this way? For being stupid and trite? Or is that just what I really think of myself then? Why is there part of me that’s still hating? And quietly enjoying it…
Moreover, on the show itself, the housewives are the truest haters out!!!! All they do is sit and talk smack about each other! I wonder if they’re forced through the production to be friends when they really don’t like each other, or if they’re really that two-faced. They delight on gossiping about each other. Marveling at all flawed circumstance. All failures and embarrassments. What a multilayered cycle of hate. They hate on each other. We on them. We on we. All on ourselves.
And we are basically forced to consume all of this. Forced into falsified images of happiness and beauty! Duped into believing that our own lives lack! That we are somehow insubstantial. And the result is hate. Hate and consumption as we try to buy into what we’re missing. Literally. We’re puppets ladies! Puppets! It’s time to cut the strings….