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Playing Games




I think I’ve figured out why I’m single… I’m bad at playing games. Or maybe not so much that I’m bad, in fact, I’m fiercely competitive. So why can’t I play these same kinds of games with relationships?


If you do any kind of internet search out there, conventional ‘wisdom’  (the female advice columns) will all suggest that you MUST play some level of games with a man. This is a natural proclivity, they assert. Playing games keeps him interested. Caters to his ‘hunter’ instinct.

This is interesting. Fascinating. And sadly, a lot of the suggestions really do work. But I have a question… which female instinct is being catered to?

If it is true that nature works in balances, in compliments, night and day, positive and negative charges, and that these types of balances sustain us, and that men and women represent an example of this type of complimentary pairing (even a man’s body parts ‘fit’ with a woman’s like pieces to a puzzle), then why is this man’s ‘hunters instinct’ not balanced out by a woman’s instinct to be out of range? If the presumption is that men want to instinctually ‘hunt’ women as if they are some elusive prey, why don’t women want to run, duck, hide and take cover?

Think about it. Is it really in a woman’s nature to be like “Yeah, I don’t care, I’m totally indifferent towards this guy.” Either she REALLY does not give an eff, or she’s gaming. So let’s examine this shall we? If she truly  does not care, can this really be satisfying some sort of human biological imperative? Would this mean that women naturally are supposed to be completely indifferent to men? Maybe until they are ‘won over?’ And in that case, one of two circumstances can occur. Either the woman just simply settles for the guy who is actively pursuing her, or she ‘loses’ and falls into actually caring, thereby giving him the upper hand. How is this game playing natural or even complimentary?

And when did it get all screwed up? Is this all just a part of the weird electricity of the moment? With new relationship dynamics and women in more assertive and dominant roles, have we lost some sort of submissive ‘prey’ like tendency that men ‘hunt’ for? Or is it more about just being unavailable and aloof? And if so, why are we not naturally like this with the men we’re attracted to? Why do we care? Why are we checking our texts for that guy we like? If we follow some sort of earthly order, perhaps we should end up with a man we don’t really care about.

But who really wants that? Why instead do we go gaga over the man we truly desire, if that man needs the opposite from us? Are we just living in contradiction to our primordial selves? If so why? How did this happen?

And if we do decide to play games for the one we really want, then we are making a conscious decision to manipulate. And what is manipulation but another form of a.… LIE!!! Really? Excuse me, is this correct? To fall in love and be happy, you have to LIE to get there? Hmmmm…

Thoughts?




2 Responses to Playing Games

  1. I think the whole concept of playing “games” leads to a competitive, rather than complementary view of relationships. Manipulation leads to division, separation, and conflict. If you want someone for life, be a partner to them, not a competitor.

    • I too think it is a bad idea to play games. Perhaps it is suggested that women do this so they sort of trick themselves into believing that they don’t care too much and therefore do not lose themselves in a man that they have just met (which is really just their rose colored vision of him anyway). Instead of pretending to not give an eff as a way to not seem desperate, give a moderated eff. Something can be important without being the end of of your existence. A good guy will like feeling like he is important to you. I think that if you start a relationship with manipulation then you can expect that to continue.

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