The Dumbest Phone Call in the World (Or Is It?)
|January 23, 2011||Posted by revelation under LATEST|
Ok it goes something like this. You’ve been seeing a guy for a few weeks. Everything is peachy. More than peachy. An exorbitant basket of rare fruits and berries. You started off with a big bang of a beginning. You make it past this initial ‘first’ moment into a regular routine of getting to know each other. You’re texting back and forth pretty much daily. It’s lighthearted and fun, but also full of the ‘honey’ and ‘baby’ and the right words at the right time that bring that endless smile to your face. Truth is, it’s going pretty quickly, but you’re going with the flow, listening to your gut, and everything is cool.
After a few dates, things seem to stop abruptly. A severe slam on the brakes that sends you bumping your head against the thick glass windshield that you didn’t see because you were too busy looking PAST it, and enjoying the ride. Hmmm… you wonder. What’s going on? Traffic up ahead? A bad accident? Something wrong with the car? What is it? What could it be? All these thoughts just add to the swelling bruise on your forehead.
But you knew the problem. You were just hoping this would be different. So now his absence punctuates the moment. A bold exclamation from his unintentional silence. And you realize you are over-reacting, over-thinking, it hasn’t even been that long, but then again, is it really about the time? A few seconds? A few minutes? A few days? It doesn’t matter, what matters is what’s underneath it all, and this you intuitively notice.
So then you do it. You make the dumbest phone call in the world. Dumb because to say “Hey, where ya been?” after a small amount of time seems ridiculous. You end up looking bad because nothing has really happened, but your gut is telling you something different. Should you ignore this? Let it go? Let it fall into the abyss of ambiguity that swallows up clear and direct communication? Or just leap frog from assumption to assumption, playing games with behavior, until you eventually win? Or lose? Or drown?
So maybe that phone call is dumb. Or maybe it saves you. Maybe it weeds out the real from the unreal. Helps you see. And maybe you scare him away. But who wants a scaredy cat anyway? I’m certainly not advocating for pressure, anger, complaints, or anything close to that. Just honesty. Crazy, right?