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One Is The Loneliest Number For a Reason…

By Delicianna Carter

No kids, two degrees (maybe more), successful career, great salary with benefits, attractive, physically fit, good credit, sports fan, and ….single? This woman on paper seems like prime real-estate but can’t seem to get a meaningful, long-lasting relationship off of the ground.

This is an all too often and common situation, not specific to any state or area. Beautiful, independent women with a lot to offer so why are they single? It’s no secret that 70% of our sisters are unmarried, some with kids living as a single parent, desperately seeking (not Susan) but a good ‘straight’ man to share their life with. So, what is the problem?

Well, we can go with the typical answers: no good men left, most of the men are in jail, the ratio of women to men is too high, or the most popular accusation – all men are dogs! While some of these may hold some truth, there is one good reason left off of the list. Thought about but not consciously accepted by the female race: something may be wrong with us.

Don’t get me wrong, the men of the world have flaws and are not perfect – no one is. But, we must remember the golden rule: point a finger and three are pointing back at you! Perhaps if what you have been doing isn’t working then it is time to try something new. Women have been blaming men for their disappointing relationship for a long time and where has it gotten us? The highest rate of single-unmarried women in societal history.

So maybe it’s time to take a look at ourselves. Maybe it’s time to take personal inventory. Sure, our money, finances, careers, education, and independence are in order. However, what about our mental, spiritual, behavioral components? Do we really understand what men want or need? More importantly, are we able or willing to give ‘it’? Have we lost touch with our feminine qualities that satisfy men in the first place (because it isn’t the money that enables real love to grow)? Have we been so focused on being independent that we have ended up being the true definition of the word: not bound by or committed to; showing a desire for freedom.

I am not saying all women have this problem because they don’t. Even some married women have this issue then watch as their marriage union joins that popular club named “Divorce”. But if you find yourself wondering ‘why doesn’t he want me?’ or ‘why didn’t he call me back?’ then look in the mirror (the magnified side). Don’t focus on examining and fixing the faults of men, but rather your own. See the good news is: this may be the situation you are in but you don’t have to stay there; things can change.

Look for more article and books
for women and their relationships
by Delicianna

© February 2011 Delicianna Carter, Coach for Clarity Concepts, LLC

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